Are we made of Stardust? An excerpt from the book “Why Me?”

Posted on Updated on

Are we made of Stardust?

My Persian husband Foad was studying Natural Science in London when I met him in 1979. He was a genius child playing chess at age 8, winning and competing against adults and he was the first person who introduced me to Quantum Mechanics and the idea that an atom is mostly space.

First of all, atoms are ridiculously small – they’re about one tenth of a millionth of a millimeter across. That means that a human hair, one of the narrowest things visible to the eye is around a million atoms across. Put another way, there are more atoms in a glass of water than glasses of water in all the oceans in the world. And the story gets really strange. An atom isn’t just tiny, it’s over 99.9% empty space. All the weight of an atom is concentrated in a mind-numbingly tiny object at its center. It’s a trillionth of a centimeter across and is called the nucleus. The rest of the atom is entirely empty apart from a few ghostly objects called electrons that skim about at a great distance from the nucleus.

To give you a sense of how empty an atom is – if the nucleus was the size of a football, the nearest electron would be half a mile away. That means even the most solid-looking objects we see are predominantly nothingness. Put another way, if you were to remove all the empty space in the atoms that make up a human being, he or she would be a lot smaller than a grain of salt.

If you removed all the empty space from the atoms that make up all the humans on the planet, then you could fit all 6 billion of us inside a single apple.

This astonishing discovery that atoms are mainly empty was made in 1909 at Manchester University by the indefatigable Ernest Rutherford. Rutherford had great courage as a scientist and was prepared to fly in the face of convention. So when he announced that the atom was mainly empty, he did so knowing his claim flatly contradicted the then known laws of physics. These demanded that all atoms collapse instantly. It was a seismic moment in the history of science. Forced to explain the atom’s mysterious emptiness, scientists had to throw out everything they had believed to be true for the previous two centuries. Their response was to invent an entirely new science, which we now call Quantum Mechanics.

The strangest and most disturbing fact that scientists uncovered while investigating the atom was a law called the “Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle”.

In a nutshell, this states that atoms are in more than one place at the same time until a conscious observer looks at them.

Think about this for a moment – if no-one’s looking at the atoms that, say, make up your foot, they’re effectively spread out across the entire Universe. Then when someone, maybe even you, looks at your foot, the atoms instantly coalesce into the foot-like shape you’re familiar with. Of course, this is an extreme example. We know that once trillions of atoms bind together to make up everyday objects, like your foot, they stop behaving in a weird spread-out way but no one really knows when and how they switch from one state to the other. The point is, it seems arbitrary where we draw the line between the strangeness of the atomic realm and the commonsense world of our senses.

I thought about this for many years and became more and more convinced that there was a way to clear old emotional patterns on an atomic level through light and sound frequency and that we are not stuck with the imprinting of our ancestral journey, but how?

If ideas like this make your head hurt, don’t worry. Even Albert Einstein, who as a young man pioneered atomic physics, was horrified by the idea that we somehow “invent” the Universe every time we look at it. He said: “I like to think that the Moon is there even if I am not looking at it.”

Right Sizing with Chi-Builder

Posted on

Living Social deal. Find Petra Nicoll – Woodland, Lake Oswego, Roseburg and Medford!

“Right-Sizing with Chi-Builder” is a program that gets results fast.. Come find out how and join us for an all day Chi-Building Day with Petra Nicoll, Life Style Coach. Her experiences of owning a Health Food Restaurant and working with many, many people over a period of 25 years in the Health Food/Spiritual Community will give you some clear insight into how YOU can become a more energetic and healthy person.

Whats included:

3 Chi-Sessions
Sound Therapy/Movie
Reiki/Sound Healing
Dry Brushing
Rebounder Exercises
Essential Oils
Electrolyte Water
Fresh Juice or Smoothie
Cold Treatment
Bring Towel and Bathing Suit.

Far-Infrared Benefits:

Pain Relief
Stress Relief
Detoxification of the Body
Cardiovascular Health & Increases Blood Flow
Tissue Elasticity & Joint Stiffness
Skin Beautification
Weight Loss
Menopausal Symptoms

Accident in Mexico with Famous Shaman “Madre Sarita” an excerpt of my Book “Why Me”?

Posted on Updated on

She said: “Tonight you will have a dream, and in the dream your lungs will be cleared.” It made sense because I was in a coma, that my lungs were always the most challenged part of my body. I believe and know now with every fiber in my being that every physical issue or disease inherently has an emotional component attached to it.

After my treatment she spoke to me about the future of the planet. The year was 1994. She said that there is much sorrow ahead of us, and that at the turn of the century there would be a very tall statue, building or buildings in New York that would fall and that would be the beginning of much unrest and war. She said everything would change after that. Of course I didn’t know that she was talking about the Twin Towers but I remember exactly where I was when I was told that the Twin Towers had fallen and thousands of people died. I felt shivers down my spine and I realized that some of the information Madre gave me that day may also have been true. I honestly dismissed some of it because it was too far from my reality of what I could digest. She said that many Tsunamis and Earthquakes will come and that the entire coast of California will be gone. That there are many UFO ships on standby to evacuate people and that these ships are hidden from our sight in a fourth dimensional field not visible to the human eye and that my partner and I should move inland Mexico and get ready for this. Of course we went back to the US and my partner Chris died in a car crash in 2002.

Ever since meeting Madre Sarita, I have have been wondering when I will be led back to Mexico and I wanted to find and talk to Don Miguel Ruiz about his Grandmother and the things she spoke of. After all, I had been reading “The Four Agreements” and many of Miguel Ruiz’s books for years.

Just a little history of Don Miguel here:

From an early age, Miguel was called upon to translate Madre Sarita’s prayers, lectures and workshops from Spanish into English. In this way, through constant repetition and review, he learned the content of her teachings in both languages. Through interpreting for Madre Sarita, don Miguel Jr. came to understand the power of faith. He saw first-hand how she manifested her intent to heal people, both physically and spiritually. Don Miguel Jr.’s apprenticeship lasted 10 years. When he reached his mid-20’s, his father intensified his training. At the apex of this power journey don Miguel said to his eldest son, “Find your way out. Go home and master Death by becoming alive.” Don Miguel Jr. is married and has two young children. And so, as a Nagual he begins once again to pass along the wisdom and the tools of his family’s traditions in helping others to achieve their own personal freedom and optimal physical and spiritual health. Miguel Jr. has taken the lessons of his father and grandmother and discovered his own personal freedom. Being able to apply his teachings to the world around him gave Miguel Jr. a new understanding of the lessons his father and grandmother had passed onto him, once again giving him the desire to pass on his beliefs.

After decades of training, Miguel Jr. was finally ready to share everything he had learned. As a Nagual, he now helps others discover optimal physical and spiritual health, so that they may achieve their own personal freedom. For the past six years, don Miguel Jr. has applied the lessons learned from his father and grandmother to define and enjoy his own personal freedom while achieving peace with all of creation.

The Great Death and Mikao Usui

Posted on Updated on

It is said that when Mikao Usui, the founder of the system of Reiki, asked his teacher about his spiritual progress, his teacher said, “You have to die once.” Usui-san took this advice and sat on Mt. Kurama for 21 days to meditate to die once.

Some people suggest that he meant to physically die, but if that were the case it would have been much easier for him to climb Mt. Kurama and jump off a cliff, rather than to sit for a difficult practice for 21 days.

But if it was not the physical death that his teacher pointed to, what kind of death was it then?

In Japanese spiritual traditions ‘to die once’ means to go through the Great Death (in Japanese, Daishi) so that we are able to rediscover our True Self.

Mikao Usui’s memorial stone states, “One day, he climbed kurama yama and after 21 days of a severe discipline without eating, he suddenly felt One Great Reiki over his head and attained enlightenment and he obtained Reiki Ryoho.” The purpose of this “severe discipline” was to help him “die once” so that he could rediscover his True Self/Reiki. It was this Great Death experience that preceded his creation of the spiritual system of Reiki. It was after this experience that he really found purpose in his life and started to teach more and more people his spiritual teachings.

Is it possible to really live our lives fully without ever looking hard at death? I do not believe it is. Without staring death in the eye, as the perpetual reverse side of life, we cannot live life fully and completely.

From: Novice to Master: An Ongoing Lesson in the Extent of My Own Stupidity by Soko Morinaga

It is possible that Usui-san was practicing Shugendo. Within Shugendo there is a very specific 21-day mountain practice in which you abstain from eating (in Japanese, danjiki) and drinking (in Japanese, mizudachi). This practice is suitable only for the rare, dedicated and prepared practitioner, called 餌食水无 読誦 修行 / だんじき みず なし どくじゅ しゅぎょう – Danjiki-Mizunachi dokuju Shûgyô. One of my teachers has done this specific 21-day Shugendo practice. This is one of the reasons I train with these kinds of teachers, so that I can understand what Usui-san was doing himself so that I can share his ideas, insights and practices within the wider Reiki community.

What is even more interesting is that during this particular 21-day practice the practitioner focuses also on the deity Myoken Bosatsu. Myoken Bosatsu is linked to Mikao Usui’s family. We can see this by looking at Mikao Usui’s family crest, the Chiba Mon. Did Usui-san choose this particular practice because of his family heritage? Myoken Bosatsu is also related to having certain healing qualities and holds a sun and moon in her hands. Healing is a central focus of the system of Reiki and we can see the sun and moon within the Shinpiden Reiki Level III symbol and mantra.

The whole universe s
hatters into a hundred pieces.
In the great death there is no heaven and earth
Once body and mind have turned over
there is only this to say:
Past mind cannot be grasped,
present mind cannot be grasped,
future mind cannot be grasped. -


The state of mind Dogen refers to is called the Great Death because it is the death of the ego, the death of the “I.” If we want to take our spiritual practice deeper, then one day we need to go through the progress of letting go of the “I”, because it is only at that stage that we can rediscover our True Self. When we let go of the “I,” of our dualistic life of separateness and suffering, we start to find the meaning of life: a life full of compassion and wisdom, a life of interconnectedness and harmony, a life full of light and inner joy.

For many years before his Mt. Kurama experience, Usui-san sought Anshin Ritsumei: enlightenment or satori. He finally realized that to attain this goal he needed to go through the Great Death experience, because it is only after going through the Great Death that Anshin Ritsumei will show its face. Therefore we could say that the Great Death is the gate through which we enter the state of mind of enlightenment. This state of mind is all about realizing non-duality, which is the ultimate reality.

Hakuin suggests that satori is necessarily preceded by ‘great doubt’ (daigi) and ‘great death’ (daishi). The practitioner has to be able and willing to let go of all securities and beliefs and throw himself or herself into the abyss of emptiness. Hakuin urges the practitioner to abandon all discriminating thoughts, to form the ‘ball of doubt’ (gidan), and to penetrate the One Mind. This, Hakuin says, is the experience of ‘great death’.

After experiencing this One Mind on Mt. Kurama, Usui-san created a system of teachings to help others also find the way to experience the Great Death. We can see that he was pointing out the Great Death in his teachings, for example within the precepts and the symbols and mantras.

The precepts are:

Do not anger
Do not worry
Be humble
Be honest
Show compassion to yourself and others

It is only when we have let go of the “I” that we can truly embody the precepts. Because it is the “I” who gets angry and worried, it is the “I” who is in the way of being humble, honest, and compassionate. Thus the precepts are pointing towards Mikao Usui’s own enlightened experience, the Great Death. So actually this Great Death is about gratitude for life, to live life at its fullest because when we have let go of our biggest worry, fear of death, we are free, free to dance through life. It is at this stage that we really start to transform our lives and those of others.

Usui-san also showed some of his students the DKM symbol/mantra, which stands for the great bright light of Anshin Ritsumei, again pointing towards the Great Death. He included all these pointers in his teachings because it is only after the Great Death that we truly become alive. The following quotes powerfully illustrate the transformation into our True Self:

After several days in his [Hakuin] condition, which he also later designated as the “Great Death” and interpreted as the dying of the ego and illusion. He recounted how he “chanced to hear the sound of the temple bell and…was suddenly transformed. It was as if a sheet of ice had been smashed or a jade tower had fallen with a crash. Suddenly I returned to my senses…All my former doubts vanished as though ice had melted away. In a loud voice I called: ‘Wonderful! Wonderful!’

From: Once-Born, Twice-Born Zen: The Soto and Rinzai Schools of Japan by Conrad Hyers

Suddenly, under some impetus unknown to me, the fog lifted and vanished. And it is not that the pain in my own body disappeared, but rather that the body that is supposed to feel the pain disappeared. Everything was utterly clear. Even in the dimly lit darkness, things could be seen in a fine clarity. The faintest sound could be heard distinctly, but the hearing self was not there. This was, I believe, to die while alive.

From: Novice to Master: An Ongoing Lesson in the Extent of My Own Stupidity by Soko Morinaga

Mikao Usui was only able to create the system of Reiki after going through the Great Death experience because it was only then that he had the clarity, wisdom, and compassion to formulate what he had been looking for himself in some sort of teaching. These teachings are the legacy of his own satori and by practicing the system of Reiki as a spiritual practice we are stepping into the footsteps of Mikao Usui, so that one day we can go through the same gate of the Great Death that Mikao Usui went though.

I cannot stress enough that the ultimate goal of religion, whether we call it satori or peace of mind, is for each individual to live in peace and tranquility, to live a full and satisfying life.

Accident in Mexico, cont. An Excerpt of “Why Me?”

Posted on Updated on

Smilingly, Madre asked me why I was so afraid to come see her and that she and her assistant Coco did not bite! I asked her how she knew that. She said: “We knew you were coming, your Spiritual Teacher with the White Turban had already been here and told us!” I finally relaxed!

You must understand that on the path of the Masters “Sant Mat” any kind of healing, pranayama, laying on of hands were forbidden. It was a very strict and monastic path and not many people were able to handle the rigorous discipline of meditation. I believed with all my heart that I was in the highest of violations by going to see this healer.

The beginning of my treatment was very strange indeed!

Madre Sarita used a real life egg that she rolled all over my body, and it apparently took on the physical, astral and causal imprint of the body. Then she cracked the egg in a glass of water, the egg yolk sank to the bottom of the glass representing the physical and the egg white trapped in the water above represented the astral and causal Body. Then she read my body through the egg white and the egg yolk the physical, and she could see what was broken. She said: “I can see the pancreas, the broken ribs, your kidneys are bruised and here is the spiritual body” and this is where it gets really freaky. Are you ready for this?

She said that meditating for over decade and for so many hours each day, I had in fact disconnected from truly living and that I was extremely sad inside.

She then performed psychic surgery on me!

I could literally feel her hand going inside of my body and it felt as though a warm energy had entered into my body system moving things around where my C-Section incision had been. She went into my spine, and Coco kept on translating “Oh there is a little scoliosis, lets go fix that” ! I felt the warm energy moving around in my spine, up and down several times.

For years and years I had scoliosis and my mother used to take me twice a week to therapy to improve the curvature of my spine. Then she said: “you know you aren’t really here for broken ribs, you are here because of your lungs. What did that mean? She went on to say: “You have such deep, deep sadness inside of you which has to do with your Mother’s death and your lungs are infected. You were very close to dying. She said that my Guru basically arranged this accident for me so that I would come to see her and that after this treatment I will never be sick again. She then handed me a tall, slender little bottle with a picture of a lizard on it with instruction for the medicine to be taken three times a day for two weeks. She gave me three cotton balls that I had to spit into in the night and bury in the morning. This was Shamanism at its best!

Accident in Mexico, an excerpt of the book “WHY ME?”

Posted on

Chapter 6.1 Accident in Mexico, Book “Why Me”

Immediately after the arrival in Mexico, I had a terrible accident. I fell down the stairs into the basement of our unfinished, beautiful Adobe Home on the Beach in Baja and broke several ribs, busted my pancreas and kidneys, but that was just a small part of what was really going on.

After I was taken to the local hospital in Rosarito in the funkiest Ambulance Vehicle I had ever seen, I was released without X-rays, spent two full days in bed and was definitely not improving and in a lot of pain. On the third day, Chris and John were down at Beach playing, there was a knock on the door! It was Miguel, a good friend of my partner Chris who came over to visit. He knocked on the door and I couldn’t really move, but luckily the front door was open and Miguel decided to walk in. He must have heard my voice even though the enormous pain prevented me from being able to talk loudly. I shuffled myself to the living room and in walks this absolutely bright spirited Mexican Doctor. Miguel was a good friend of Chris’s, he had studied Children’s Psychology and then worked at the Dansbach Cancer Clinic right in our neighborhood, Sant Monica Plaza, Rosarito Beach. Miguel was more than a conventional Doctor, he was also a healer and had just returned from the Yukatan with Don Miguel, a famous Shaman.

As soon as Miguel saw me, he immediately took a step towards me, put his hands on my chest and started praying in Spanish. I was so surprised by that and knew that something was very wrong with me. Miguel ran down to the beach to get Chris and John and when they came back to the house, Miguel urged Chris to take me across the border to see the Grandmother of Don Miguel who was a very powerful healer from Mexico and who could help me.

Chris carried me to the car, strapped in my little three year old son and drove across the border as fast as he could. I had no idea why everything was so urgent and I was extremely scared. When we arrived in Chula Vista at the home of Madre Sarita, everyone there was already expecting us and Chris carried me inside. Madre was a sweet and beautiful Lady in her 70ies who had the kindest eyes I had ever seen. We were in the waiting room for 10 minutes until “Coco” the Translator called us into the healing room.
She asked us to place our hands around a candle with a Saints picture on it and then she prayed aloud in Spanish. After the prayer, she sent Chris and John out of the room and what followed next changed my life forever!

Golden Light Meditation

Video Posted on Updated on

Emotional Processing with Golden Light Meditation is very soothing and powerful. I will help you relax and connect with your Magical Inner Being. You will realize that any trauma, sadness, abandonment and fear can be transformed through Light and Sound which will quicken the cell to become what YOU  were meant to be, “A Radiant Golden Light Being filled with Love!”